How to Build Resilience in Students: A Guide for Educators and Parents

Resilience; I don’t know if this is the case at your school but, at mine, we talk about it a lot. But what does it actually mean for our students? And more importantly – how do we help them to build it?

As educators or parents, we all know that school isn’t just about getting good grades. It’s about learning how to face challenges, deal with setbacks, and keep going, even when things don’t quite go to plan. But, let’s be honest: some students can struggle with resilience. Some of them can give up too easily, avoid challenges, or let one bad mark on an assessment convince them that they’re not good enough.

That’s where we come in. Whether you’re a teacher, a parent, or anyone supporting young people, you have a huge role to play in shaping their mindsets. So, how do we make students more resilient?

Let’s get into it.

What is resilience? (And why does it matter?)

Resilience is what helps our students to bounce back when things don’t feel like they’re working out. It’s that inner strength that keeps them pushing forward after a tough exam, a bad day, or a failed attempt at something new,

Without resilience, students might:

Avoid challenges because they’re afraid of failing
Get frustrated and give up too quickly
Struggle to manage their emotions when things go wrong

With resilience, students can:

See mistakes as part of the learning process
Feel confident tackling new challenges
Become indistractible
Develop problem-solving skills that help them inside and outside the classroom

Ready for the key takeaway? Resilience isn’t something that you’re born with – it’s something that you can build.

The role of educators and parents in building resilience

Students can’t develop resilience in isolation; that’d be impossible. The way that we respond to their challenges, mistakes and setbacks makes all the difference.

What teachers can do:

Create a classroom culture where mistakes are normalised. Be honest: nobody gets everything right the first time. By taking the first step and normalising your own mistakes, you’re going to make the students feel more relaxed to make their own.
Encourage effort over perfection. Instead of praising intelligence, praise persistence.
Let students struggle a little. Don’t jump in with the answer straight away; give them thinking time and help them get there with suitable scaffolding. Why not plan this content using AI?

What parents can do:

Avoid overprotecting your kids from failure. Small setbacks teach valuable lessons that you won’t pick up if insisting on perfection.
Help them to reframe challenges. ‘This is hard’ can become ‘This is hard, but I’m still learning.’
Share your own struggles and how you overcame them. Kids need to see that resilience is a lifelong skill for everybody.

Practical strategies to build resilience in students

Growth mindset

I first heard of this phrase when reading You are Awesome, a self-help book designed for kids that I read with my form group, who were in Year 7 at the time. But what does this mean?

Well, have you ever heard somebody say, ‘I’m bad at maths’ or ‘I’ll never be any good at writing’? That’s a fixed mindset, a belief that our abilities are unchanging, unwavering, and set in stone. Resilience starts with the belief that skills can be developed.

That’s a growth mindset talking.

To encourage a growth mindset in your young people:

Add the word ‘yet’ to negative statements. ‘I can’t do this’ becomes ‘I can’t do this yet’. You’re acknowledging their struggles but reiterating that it can be done.
Praise effort, not talent. Tell them that, ‘you’ve worked really hard on this’, rather than ‘You’re so smart.’
Share stories of famous failures. I’m sure we’ve all heard about J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter rejections or Michael Jordan being cut from his high school basketball team. The book, You are Awesome, actually does a great job of this if you’d like to share some more famous examples with your group

Teach problem-solving skills

Sometimes, students will give up because they just don’t know how to move forward. Teaching problem-solving strategies helps them to handle setbacks with confidence. If you’ve never taught a lesson before, you’ll be surprised at what you’ll experience in your first lesson.

Try this out:

Break it down: help students tackle big problems in small steps
Ask, don’t tell: instead of giving answers, guide them to solutions with open-ended questions to encourage critical thinking
Encourage reflection: Get students to think about what worked and what didn’t – and what they’d do differently next time.

Help students to manage their emotions

Resilience isn’t really something that you can think about logically. It’s about handling emotions when things go wrong. Some students can get frustrated and get stuck from that. Maybe they can feel embarrassed, or doubt themselves, which makes moving forward much harder.

Here’s how to help:

Teach deep breathing or mindfulness. The app, How we Feel, is a great device for self-regulation in and out of the classroom.
Encourage journaling. Writing down emotions can help us to process setbacks, to learn from them, and move forward
Model healthy self-talk. You don’t need to stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself, but how you think about yourself can really shape who you are as a person. Instead of ‘I’m terrible at this’, why not practice saying ‘this is tough, but I’m improving’ together?

Create opportunities for risk-taking

Resilient students don’t just bounce back from failure – they’re also willing to take risks in the first place. But if students never step outside their comfort zone, how are they ever going to build that skill?

To encourage risk-taking, try:

letting students take on challenging projects that might not work totally perfectly
getting them to present ideas, enter tough competitions, or try a new activity – in or outside the classroom
Reframe failure: instead of ‘I failed’, get them to think, ‘I experimented’.

Build a strong support system

Nobody can build resilience alone. Support from you, whether that’s a teacher, parent or peer, makes it easier to handle setbacks.

Have a go at these strategies:

Create peer support networks in class, where students help other students
Make feedback constructive: point out strengths before discussing ways to improve
Be approachable: students will find it so much easier to come to you when the going gets tough.

How to overcome barriers to resilience

Even with the best strategies, some students can still struggle to build resilience. To tackle the most common roadblocks, first identify the issue and then propose a solution.

Fear of failure? Share examples of how failure leads to growth. Normalise making mistakes.

Lack of motivation? Set small, achievable, goals to build momentum.

Low confidence? Remind them of past successes. Show how they’ve already overcome challenges.

Negative self-talk? Help them to rewrite the narrative. Replace, ‘I can’t’ with ‘I’m learning how to’.

Resilience really is what helps students to keep going when things get tough; to take on challenges without fear; to believe in their own ability to improve. And the best part? It’s something that we can teach.

So, a call to action: try just one of these strategies this week. Whether it’s to encourage a growth mindset, let students problem-solve on their own, or to create a safe space for risk-taking – every little step could help.

In the meantime, if you’d like a printable checklist of these resilience-building strategies, let me know in the comments below.

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Hardly Hamilton

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